I love the passing of time

I just had a dream about my mom.

She was still dead in the dream. We were in a house (which was sometimes Roseanne’s house, from the TV show - it wasn’t the usual house that I dream about) & she was dead, laid out on a table. It was like a funeral, but I was feeling ‘creepy’ & told the people with me about it - like she was going to talk to us. I think the body was moving or floating. The other people kind of freaked, but I said ‘No, it’s OK’ (although I was scared, too). I decided to ask her some questions, because, hey, at least it was cool that I got to talk to her again, even if it was scary.

I think I asked her if she had lived before, if their were multiple lives & she laughed and said “Yes” or something that meant ‘I guess that’s the best way to explain it that a living person would understand’.

And, I said, something like “Can you remember them all now?”.

And, she said “Yes”

So, I asked her “Well, then, I might as well ask you, which lives did you prefer? Which was better? When you were fat or when you were thin”

She laughed. Really laughed. And, answered as if she knew that I knew that the answer was obvious, but understood why I was asking it, anyway. And, I can’t remember if she answered “Fat” or “Thin”, but the answer meant “Happy”, that life was simply better when you were happy.

… I woke up all freaked out. Turned on the bedroom light. Went to check the kids. They were OK, but Shelby was sleeping with a jumprope tucked under him and, I think, into his pants. I took it away from him & it woke him a bit. He asked “Why did you do that”. I said “Because you can’t sleep with a jumprope”. He said “OK” and went back to sleep.

I went to the bathroom, then went back to bed. Freaking out, thinking, vividly about ghosts, about what it would look like if a ghost was right there in front of you. (Man, all of these childhood fears are really coming out lately, aren’t they???) Remembered someone saying about Dad, after he died (or, maybe, it was a dream that I had about him), that he would never ‘haunt’ us, because he loved us & would never do something to scare us. I’m not so sure about mom. She might just do it because it was cool & because she could. Not mean - she’d think that we’d like to have that experience, KWIM?

Anyway - I read for a while, then decided to come out here & post this. It’s making me feel better, being out here & awake (in the bright room :-p) Hope I can get back to sleep. Don’t even want to go get Annie to cuddle with, because I might want the light on for a while longer.

…. By the way, I didn’t go to sleep when I posted that last thing. I went to www.gameblast.com & saw that they had a new game - Cinema Tycoon. I downloaded it & played for way too long… Played until 1:30am (and, chatted with Jim for a while, who is at work)