Oh, and one more thing
Imagine you are a child, with your mother and father in your life every day.
Imagine how nice that feels, knowing they both love you. Trusting them to care for you. Sharing a special relationship with each of them. Learning from them both in their own way. Feeling a safe and secure foundation in their love from which you can learn and grow. You depend on them to be there every day. If they can’t be, you trust them to explain it to you and you trust the other parent to help you through the absence of the one who’s gone that day.
Now, imagine that, one day, mom or dad is simply gone. Imagine how frightening that is. Imagine how sad this makes you feel. Imagine how it crushes your spirit. Imagine how it shakes the very foundations of your life that you’ve grown to depend on every day. Imagine how you wonder what you did wrong to make that happen. Imagine how you wonder if that other parent never loved you. Imagine how you wonder if the parent who’s still here loves you.
Now, imagine that the only reason that other parent doesn’t see you is because the parent who you live with won’t let the other parent see you. No one tells you this, of course. They either don’t tell you anything, leaving you to believe your worst fears. Or, they tell you lies that only confirm your worst fears.
Now, imagine that you’re the residential parent who’s keeping the other parent away from their child, causing this soul-crushing sadness and fear, only to create an ally, soothe your own ego or artificially boost your own feelings of self-worth.
Fuck you.
I think I’ll just have you post for me…you always say things so perfectly. Well said!!
Comment by Robin — September 22, 2005 @ 5:32 pm
sigh.
It just breaks my heart.
Comment by Soonie — September 22, 2005 @ 7:12 pm