I love the passing of time

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus…

Well, as a matter of fact, I know that Jim & I are both from earth (well, actually, there’s a chance that he’s part alien, but he’s taken on his adoptive planet completely).

I spend a lot of time on women-only message boards. I also spend a lot of time on a male-dominated message board. And, on both of them, there is a strong undercurrent that ‘they’ are different from ‘us’ in ways that we can never change & that make it so that ‘we’ will never understand each other.

I can’t be the only person who sees this as simplistic thinking, can I? Sure, there are traits that society has taught us are ‘feminine’ or ‘masculine’ and that we have internalized due to societal pressures in our lives. But, the exceptions to the standards, in reality, are so massive in number that I don’t know how anyone could think that these traits are inherent to the gender.

The type of woman that I aspire to be is kind, nurturing, thoughtful, intelligent. To me, that is ‘woman’. But, I know many women who take great pride in being hard bitches. And, I know many women who have no desire whatsoever to have children. I know many women who enjoy playing games with love, to fulfill their own needs & desires. And, to all of them, what they are is ‘woman’.

And, many women live traits that society says are ‘male’.

While, many men that I know are kind, nurturing, thoughtful, intelligent. Jim, for example. And, many men that I know don’t like sports. And, wouldn’t think of leaving a toilet seat up (and many women that I know wouldn’t actually care if they did). I know men who know nothing about car repair, who don’t really care about corporate success, who are not ruthless, who are gentle, who enjoy poetry, etc.

So, why do we (as a society of women or men or people) let ourselves believe the dividing differences and even try to find more or find more proof of them? Why do we need that?

On both male & female boards, pointing out gender differences usually helps to salve romantic wounds (”It’s not you - you’re ok - wo/men are just like that”. They also serve to protect a person’s place in the world or in relationships (”Men never help around the house - that’s why they need women” “Women just don’t understand money - you’ll have to watch her constantly”).

I’m sure there are more reasons for this kind of thing - it’s been going on since the beginning of time, I think. Hmm… Maybe I’ll have to take some gender-study classes if I ever get back to school (Although, just taking a class like that would be perpetuating the myth )

Kitten still doesn’t have a name, by the way.

But, Annie loves her. She & the kitten are buddies. If we can’t get the kitten, because she’s running away from us, Annie can get her. Annie reminds me to give the kitten her medicine every day (and brings the kitten to me). Annie’s arms are scratched up and down like a teenager with issues, but she doesn’t mind at all. She knows that the kitten just doesn’t understand, yet & is willing to take those scars as part of the whole kitten package.

I’m glad I got that kitten for my birthday

Help thy brother’s boat across and lo! thine own has reached the shore. Hindu Proverb

Last night I dreamed I was at a class reunion. (I’ve never gone to one in real life) It was a huge event. I was in the lobby, with Anna, Shelby, Allison and my younger sister Marla, who, in the dream, was still a teenager (really she’s only 2 years younger than me). There was a woman with a clipboard there & she asked me if I had kids. Marla said ‘Yes’ for me & the lady asked how many. I think Marla said ‘2′, but I added ‘and a stepdaughter’. The lady got excited about that & asked me if she could ask me more questions. Said they were getting more details about some people for something they were going to do later in the evening.

She asked about the kids names & ages, then asked about life events - when did you marry & stuff like that. I could see, on the clipboard, that one of the questions was going to be about 9/11 & was kind of excited about that because I’ve was in labor with Annie on 9/11.

Later, we were sitting in a room that was upstairs & just outside of the auditorium, where some kind of big presentation was about to happen. The room had windows where we could look into the auditorium and out to the parking lot. In the parking lot, cheerleaders were practicing for the show. They weren’t our classes cheerleaders, though - one of them was my niece Miranda.

Then, I noticed that Shelby was missing & started worrying about where he was, sending Allison & Marla to look for him.

Then… I guess I woke up.