Why do we try so hard to believe in gender roles?
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus…
Well, as a matter of fact, I know that Jim & I are both from earth (well, actually, there’s a chance that he’s part alien, but he’s taken on his adoptive planet completely).
I spend a lot of time on women-only message boards. I also spend a lot of time on a male-dominated message board. And, on both of them, there is a strong undercurrent that ‘they’ are different from ‘us’ in ways that we can never change & that make it so that ‘we’ will never understand each other.
I can’t be the only person who sees this as simplistic thinking, can I? Sure, there are traits that society has taught us are ‘feminine’ or ‘masculine’ and that we have internalized due to societal pressures in our lives. But, the exceptions to the standards, in reality, are so massive in number that I don’t know how anyone could think that these traits are inherent to the gender.
The type of woman that I aspire to be is kind, nurturing, thoughtful, intelligent. To me, that is ‘woman’. But, I know many women who take great pride in being hard bitches. And, I know many women who have no desire whatsoever to have children. I know many women who enjoy playing games with love, to fulfill their own needs & desires. And, to all of them, what they are is ‘woman’.
And, many women live traits that society says are ‘male’.
While, many men that I know are kind, nurturing, thoughtful, intelligent. Jim, for example. And, many men that I know don’t like sports. And, wouldn’t think of leaving a toilet seat up (and many women that I know wouldn’t actually care if they did). I know men who know nothing about car repair, who don’t really care about corporate success, who are not ruthless, who are gentle, who enjoy poetry, etc.
So, why do we (as a society of women or men or people) let ourselves believe the dividing differences and even try to find more or find more proof of them? Why do we need that?
On both male & female boards, pointing out gender differences usually helps to salve romantic wounds (”It’s not you - you’re ok - wo/men are just like that”. They also serve to protect a person’s place in the world or in relationships (”Men never help around the house - that’s why they need women” “Women just don’t understand money - you’ll have to watch her constantly”).
I’m sure there are more reasons for this kind of thing - it’s been going on since the beginning of time, I think. Hmm… Maybe I’ll have to take some gender-study classes if I ever get back to school (Although, just taking a class like that would be perpetuating the myth 
)
