More on that…
I don’t think my husband is an exception. I think he’s just a man who somehow found the strength and self-confidence to fight his way out of the stereotype.
I, personally, think that gender stereotypes are just as limiting, just as damaging, just as ridiculous as racial stereotypes. 100 years ago, everyone, men -and- women, for the most part, agreed that it would be a complete waste of time, money and resources for a woman to attend medical school. Women weren’t believed to have the mental capacity or fortitude for that kind of work.
But, we fought it. For years & years & years. And, now, it’s not at all surprising to see women doctors.
And, just yesterday at soccer practice, one of the mom’s told me that she’d heard that girls were now scoring higher than boys, across the board, on standardized testing. That would have been thought to have been impossible 100 years ago.
Some of the gender stereotypes that were believed to be simple facts at that time in history have been disproven. That’s a good thing. But, obviously, some live on.
Saying that men are, by nature, not nurturers, puts limits on them. Not just on ‘men’ generically, but on my own son. Your own sons, too. It also puts limits on your daughters. It perpetuates the myth that there are some things that they will not be able to achieve, unless they are bold enough to stand up and be counted among the ‘exceptions’. It discourages them from even trying.
I also think that saying women are nurturers by nature leaves women who aren’t nurturers (or, who aren’t at a point in their lives where they are able to nurture) feeling like somehow less of a woman if they admit their ’shortcomings’.
I suppose before I can even begin to believe that a person, by virtue of their physical makeup, is going to behave in a particular way, I would need to see some studies that prove that the behavior is linked to the physical features. For example, if we could find a man who was, somehow, never exposed to societal pressures that tell him what his gender was ’supposed to’ do, then give him a baby to raise, I wonder how he would do. If it’s just wired into men’s nature to be unable to properly nurture, then I guess he wouldn’t have a clue how to care for the child. I like to think that he’d do just as well in that situation as a woman who was also raised with no societal cues.
So, I’m going to do the best I can to question all of the beliefs that I was raised with, all of the the limits that I learned to accept for myself and for men. I’m going to try to teach the next generation that the preceding generations (including ours) might be wrong about some of these things.
When Annie plays with dolls, I’m going to tell her how proud I am of her & that, maybe, she’s going to be a great mommy some day. When she does experiments in the kitchen, I’m going to tell her how proud I am of her & that, maybe, she’s going to be a great scientist some day.
When Shelby plays with dolls, I’m going to tell him how proud I am of him & that, maybe, he’s going to be a great daddy some day. When he does experiments in the kitchen, I’m going to tell him how proud I am of him & that, maybe, he’s going to be a great scientist some day.
Sorry if this whole post doesn’t make much sense & seems so impassioned. This is a hot button issue for me. Really makes me see red. And, well, you know how it is, women aren’t that good at making organized, rational arguments. 
