I love the passing of time

Well, I couldn’t sleep on it, so ended up washing it out at about 2am (after waking from a fitful dream that was something about my niece’s old boyfriend, who committed suicide).

Annie & Allison made it through the night with the foil & koolaid still in their hair.

Oddly enough - I’m the only one who it ‘worked’ for, though. Annie’s was green until she went swimming that morning, then it was gone. Allison’s hair is just too dark for it to show, I think. My hair is so damaged & washed out from multiple colorings that it took just fine. Well, the red did, anyway. I have a really cool patch of pinky red on the ends of my hair by my left jaw. The purple is a bit darker browny blue, behind my left ear, but that’s fading fast. I like the red, though. I think I’ll do this again, when this washes out

Maybe we can get Allison to a professional to get hers done. I’d hate to do anything permanent, though - like bleaching it so that the color will take. She has such long, beautiful hair. I don’t want to ruin it.

Off to Indiana Beach this weekend (camping in the popup at Jellystone Park ). We’re leaving Saturday morning & driving back Sunday evening, so it will be short, but fun (I hope). I’m trying to make sure everything’s organized & packed today, so that I can really relax & enjoy the time tomorrow.

I’m off work next week, but it’s going to be pretty busy. I want to get some sewing done for the flea market. Annie’s got Safety Town. Shelby’s still got swimming lessons. And, it’s Heritage Days in town. The parade on Sunday goes right past our house. We usually invite everyone to come & stay for dinner afterwards. So, I’ll have lots of cleaning, shopping, cooking & yardwork to do, too.

It’s nice to be busy, though Once we’re on vacation at the end of the month, I hope to do *lots* of relaxing!

She can put her head underwater & move through the water. She’s crawling on the ground in the shallow end, but she’s so close to swimming that she might as well just do it.

She has definitely earned her hamster, which is a good thing because we bought the cage for it yesterday.

Shelby’s doing great, too. Will jump in & go mostly under the water. Will put his face in. Just hasn’t got to the point where he’ll put his whole head under. But, I can tell, watching him, that he’s thinking about doing it. Especially when he sees Annie doing it.

We just finished putting koolaid in our hair (well, me, Annie & Allison, anyway). We have to sleep on it, then wash it out in the morning. I’m sure pictures will be posted sometime tomorrow

Good vibes going out to Becky & her family. May justice be served for your darling stepson tomorrow. May his childhood be preserved. May you be free to give him what he needs to grow.

My mom began doing home daycare when I was a toddler. One of the first kids that she took care of was right about my age. He & I were friends. We played together all the time.

We’d play this one game where we pretended we were little tiny people who lived in a cupboard. When the imaginary big people would come to get stuff from their cupboard, they would ask us to find it for them. “Could I have a cup of flour, please?” “Sure! I’ll go get that for you!”

We also pretended that there was an owl who lived in an old tree stump in my backyard. We’d go ask the wise old owl questions, from time to time.

Hey, I even remember taking baths with him, sometimes.

But, then, I went to Catholic school and he went to public school. My mom didn’t need to babysit him anymore, but we still saw them from time to time, as family friends. I remember one party where he was upstairs (the grownups were partying downstairs) and he was telling us that his dad had let him have a whole beer.

I remember going over to his house, one time, when we were older. He lived near Wheeler park & we would walk there alone. We’d play in the woods, pretending to be explorers. There was this tacky light brown dirt that we called ‘Indian Clay’. We’d make stuff with it. I also remember sleepovers at his house around that same time.

I looked up to his parents, too. Thought they were cool. His parents looked like hippies. I always thought his mom was a librarian, but I’m not actually sure if she was. They had Simon & Garfunkel albums.

He & I grew further apart, though, over time. And, somewhere in there, my siblings started teasing me, calling him my boyfriend. So, that made things even more uncomfortable.

Then, in 6th grade, I switched from Catholic school to public school. I was very nervous about the whole thing. I didn’t know anyone in public school and the middle school was so big. But, I remembered my old friend & thought, well, at least I’ll know *one* person, anyway.

Can you guess what happened, though?

That’s right, he pretended like he didn’t know me. Oh, I may have gotten a reply, when I said Hello, but there was no friendly help from him at all. He wasn’t mean, he just didn’t do anything to help, either.

Not that I blame him or am angry with him at all. We all do weird stuff when we’re kids. It was 6th grade & boy/girl roles were so important then. And, luckily, two other girls from the Catholic school ended up switching to public that year, too. So, I was covered, anyway.

He & his parents visited my mom about 7 or 8 years ago. Mom called me up all excited - said she had a surprise & wanted me to come over. I did. It was kind of uncomfortable. We had grown so much in different directions. He was career military. I had gone more along the hippie/slacker lines in my life.

Hope he’s doing OK, though.

———————————–

This whole reverie was started last night, when Jim & I were talking about how, if my niece moves to West Chicago, Annie & Bryce will be in kindergarten together, and, if we all stay in town, they will probably be in the same class together throughout school. We were talking about how great it would be for them to have this friendship with such a deep foundation (they are good friends, now, already).

After I told Jim the whole story, he said that it was so cool how, even after we’ve been together for so long, we still have stories about our pasts that we haven’t shared with each other, yet. And, that it is so fun hearing them.

When I told the story, last night, it was somehow much funnier and less nostalgic. I know it included me pretending to be myself in 6th grade & saying to him (something that I never actually said, but probably thought), “We used to pretend to live in a cupboard together and now you’re acting like you don’t know me? I don’t think so!”

:D

All of us IT people moved into the new cubes today (there are 3 other regular IT people besides me, right now - people who don’t rate an office, that is).

The others all went out to lunch (I don’t, technically, get a lunch, because I’m part-time).

While they were out, some workers came in & drilled a hole on the edge of one of the cubes (by the wall) & put in an electrical column. They are still wiring, now.

The others came back from lunch & were all “OMG! They did such a crap job on this. That looks horrible! Maureen, do you know who did this?”

I said, “No, I’m afraid that I don’t know the names of any of the construction guys”.

I wanted to add “I barely know your guys’ names”

I’m just not very social at work

Hey! If you haven’t done it already, go enter information about your local fireworks at www.fireworksevents.com . Or, if you want to go see a fireworks display today, go put your zipcode in & see if there’s one nearby!

We’re still refining the site - want to make it sort the results by date -and- want to get more data in there!!!!! But, the more we get this site mentioned on other websites, the more exposure we’ll get, and the more likely it will be that people will find us in their search engine searches! So, please, go enter your data -and- please tell all your friends about it!

Thanks!

Tweety, our cockatiel, passed away on Saturday night.

Saturday morning, when I was feeding her & cleaning her cage, I noticed that she hadn’t eaten anything at all from the last time that I had fed her.

I didn’t do anything about it. Figured maybe she was just not feeling well & thought I’d wait it out & see how she was the next day.

We went about our busy day on Saturday & I forgot all about it.

Saturday night, when the kids were in the bath, I remembered.

Went to check her & she was laying on the bottom of the cage. Jim picked up the cage & brought it into the kitchen. Picked up Tweety, who was still alive - heart racing & just held her. We talked about what to do, but couldn’t come up with anything. I went to talk to the kids & finish their bath.

When we got out of the bath & went to the kitchen, Tweety had passed away. Jim was holding her. We all talked about her and were sad. The kids pet her. Allison was upstairs the whole time, kind of freaked out when I told Jim about her being on the bottom of the cage, I think.

We put her in a box & put her out in the van for the night.

The next morning, we buried her under the bush outside our fence.

:-( I miss her & feel guilty about her passing, wish I had dropped everything & taken her to the vet on Saturday afternoon.

Sigh

I have been remiss on updating here and on posting on message boards lately. Just too much going on, too much work to do at home and at work. And, a kind of feeling of ennui still persisting in bursts throughout the days. (Don’t get me wrong — much, much happiness, too - just kind of scattered, disorganized, unfocused)

So, here are a bunch of little updates in case anyone’s wondering… I may expand on each of these some time in the future & add pics if I ever remember to upload them to the internet.

We bought a pop-up camper last Friday. It’s a ‘95 Starcraft. We took it out camping at a local forest preserve on Saturday night (after a marathon ‘backing up’ practice session at a local empty parking lot). The electrical hookup at the campground was out, so we weren’t able to try that out. And, we forgot to mess with the propane before it got dark & I was afraid to try it after dark, so we didn’t have heat, either (it was a cold night). Shelby had an accident while he was sleeping, too - so the camper has officially been christened, now

Allison & Jim went to counseling on Friday. Allison was in with the counselor alone for most of the time. He called Jim in at the end & told him, again, that he’s only going to let us know if we need to be worried about Allison’s safety, otherwise it’s going to be just between the two of them. Jim said “Everything’s OK, then?” Counselor said “Everything’s not OK, but she’s doing as good as someone in her situation could be doing”.

Allison dyed her hair purple on Sunday. It was actually ‘Plum’. And, it’s a temporary dye (comes 0ut in 8-10 washings). I think she wanted it to be bolder. It turned out beautiful, though - subtle shades of magenta that shine brighter when she’s in the sun.

Allison is bored. I keep thinking I’ve got to find something to give her purpose over the summer. Then, I think, maybe I should let her find it herself. She & Natalie (friend from old school) are IM’ing, making vague plans. I keep telling her to find a part-time job or look at classes & things she might want to do. She said she’d like to learn to play the bass guitar. I may look into that for the summer.

Annie had her first swimming lesson of the year, yesterday.

I asked her about it when I got home from work. Asked her how she did, did she try everything the teacher asked, was she brave? (I’ve bribed her with a promise of a pet hamster if she tries her best to do everything the teacher asks. Have given her some suggestions and some ‘magic’ to help her to be ‘BraveGirl’ when she’s faced with something she’s scared to try, but that she knows will be safe)

She said… “I’ll let you know when we start the learning part. Right now, we’re just playing”

:D She doesn’t know that, at her age & stage, the ‘playing’ is actually learning.

This is a good thing.

BTW - DH said she did pretty good — much better than last year. Didn’t leave her group or leave the water at all! I’m thinking she’ll be a strong swimmer by the end of *next year’s* swimming lessons. But, wouldn’t be too surprised to be pleasantly surprised by the end of this year’s swimming season.

Shelby is trying everything the teacher asks him to do, too. (His bribe is one of those submersible diver things that he keeps seeing commercials for. But, he’s got to be able to swim strong before he can use it)

I’m not sleeping enough lately. After everyone’s asleep, I just sit up snacking and playing games at pogo or gameblast until I suddenly realize it’s 12:30 or 1…

I know I’ll catch up on my sleep soon.

I’m just really noticing the effect on my day, today. It’s all catching up with me. Everything seems kind of overwhelming & unmanageable.

We’re still looking for a pop up camper. Anything we find that is perfect, is too expensive. Anything that we find that’s in a reasonable price range needs something that will bring the price up anyway. I really want this, but am alternately worried that we shouldn’t be spending this money (although, we’re going to spend money on vacation anyway - might as well get some equity out of it for future vacations).

We haven’t even really planned vacation yet & are thinking of simplifying it. But, I still need to get the dogs kenneled & other pets cared for, make reservations, general planning…

I can’t find anything good for Allison to do this summer.

I’ve got to finish handling Margie’s plates on e-bay & get her money to her (and any leftover plates). I still have Aunt Betty’s unsold dolls in the basement - should get those to her, too.

Birthday party & soccer on Saturday. Have to get birthday present for Alicia. Allison needs shorts.

Just feeling overwhelmed by this kind of stuff & unmotivated or, maybe, unorganized or unfocused. Tonight, I should go to bed early -but- it’s Al’s first night off for the summer & I should stay up with her & watch a movie or something. I’ve got a vacation day tomorrow, and, after taking kids to dentist, maybe I’ll start getting some stuff done. Maybe go to Target to get bday present & shorts & anything else that I can think of that we need…

Enough whining

Good stuff about Allison. Or, is it??? She’s been really playing with Annie a lot lately. Annie will beg her to play a game, and she will do it. She will play some kind of little kid game with her for an hour, sometimes (both of them with dolls or stuffed animals, pretending to be stuff, going on adventures). It’s great. But, I worry that she’s too bored & that’s why she’s playing with Annie. I wish she had friends to hang out with. I wish the library was hiring a teenager position, but I checked last night & they weren’t. Just think she might make some nice friends working there. I’ll have to look around locally to find either a job that she could apply for, or a summer program with local kids.

OK - back to work…