I love the passing of time

Gen Rinpoche’s definition
The mantra Om Mani Pädme Hum is easy to say yet quite powerful, because it contains the essence of the entire teaching. When you say the first syllable Om it is blessed to help you achieve perfection in the practice of generosity, Ma helps perfect the practice of pure ethics, and Ni helps achieve perfection in the practice of tolerance and patience. Päd, the fourth syllable, helps to achieve perfection of perseverance, Me helps achieve perfection in the practice of concentration, and the final sixth syllable Hum helps achieve perfection in the practice of wisdom.
So in this way recitation of the mantra helps achieve perfection in the six practices from generosity to wisdom. The path of these six perfections is the path walked by all the Buddhas of the three times. What could then be more meaningful than to say the mantra and accomplish the six perfections?
— Gen Rinpoche, Heart Treasure of the Enlightened Ones

Annie ROCKS at soccer. Her 2nd practice was last night. And, once she decided that she was going to pay attention to the coach, instead of just running around the field with the ball (and, it is hard for her to know she’s supposed to pay attention to him, because he is very soft-spoken -and- english is his 2nd language), she was totally skilled! She’s great at dribbling, great at getting the ball from the opposing team (although, admittedly, the ‘opposing team’ during practice was made up of the the 2 boys on her team, who are younger than her and smaller than her & who, apparently, don’t have older siblings in soccer).

Shelby spent the first part of practice on the sidelines, running up & down, yelling ‘Go Annie, Go!’. Then, about 15 minutes into practice, the other girl on the team went into complete meltdown & the coach asked Shelby to come in & help Annie. At first, he & Annie were an unstoppable force, playing together as a great team, PWNing the other kids. Then, I reminded him that those little kids were there to learn the game & that he could help them learn the skillz he has. After that, he did great, letting them steal the ball from him, letting them score, but still keeping them running.

Allison has been more & more upbeat every day. Yesterday morning, on the way to school, there were a couple of boys kind of standing in the road, looking back at a cool car that had passed. I had to slow down to an almost stop, to avoid hitting them. As we passed, she told me that one of them was in her choir. We joked about how embarrassing it would be if I had hit him, “Gee, sorry about how my stepmom ran you over”. She said “Well, at least that would give me a chance to talk to him ” (he was a long-hair cutie )

I’m thinking that would be a good title or opening line for some teen fiction - “My stepmom ran over the cutest boy in school, what else could go wrong?”. Or, something like that :-p

And, the whole Moon Jump Delivery thing is going great, I think. Sure, it’s hard to fit them into our schedule, but we’re working together on it & that makes it fun. It’s a new venture that Jim & I are embarking on as a team & I love doing anything with him as a team I like the way we work together. I like the way we figure it all out, for the benefit of our family and ourselves. I love the way we are respectful of each other’s strengths.

Doing actual physical labor on a regular basis, with actual physical return of money for each job (although, we don’t get paid until the following Saturday for jobs), is making me more aware of the money I’m spending and making me hesitant to spend it frivolously. When I think of things in terms of how many ‘moon jumps’ it’s worth, I am less likely to throw the hard-earned money away.

Finally - at regular work - the Client Services person who was always the most clueless is leaving tomorrow. I’m not sure if she was let go, or if she quit. I know they are trying to hire someone to replace her, though, so it’s not that they’ve eliminated her position. It’s going to be nice to not have to deal with her anymore. But, that just means that there will be someone new to deal with…

Apparently, BIL, David, passed out at work, yesterday, due to fever. They sent him home. I’m not sure how he got home - if the took the bus or if Uncle Bob brought him home. I knew he was sick, but we’re all sick (except for Allison, so far :fingerscrossed: ). And, well, I’m pretty busy taking care of myself, the kids, our house, the pets, making dinner, cleaning up (including the basement so that he would have a place to live for, basically, free), trying to make extra money, etc. I didn’t think that a grown man would need me to take care of him, too.

Sigh.. Whenever I start thinking about it, I start ranting, instead of feeling compassion, which is what I should be feeling. Where is my empathy???

Anyway, he came home & went to sit in the busy with an extra kid living room. Sat there for a bit, then headed down to the basement. Now, he’s got a speech impediment, so it’s hard to understand him when he speaks. I’ll sometimes ask him to repeat himself until I understand. But, sometimes, and this is, I’m sure, due to the fact that he’s established a pattern of telling half-truths and outright lies (and usually for no real benefit at all), I just kind of nod my head & say ‘uh-huh’ to him if it doesn’t seem really important (if I don’t pick out really important words).

Arrrghh - If I’m not ranting, I’m justifying my behavior and feelings of annoyance. When, really, my behavior & attitude is all up to me. I know that. Now that I think about it, his lies & half-truths are probably a habit created when people did the same thing as me, throughout his life - not wanting to ask him to repeat himself so often, so he discovered he could get away with saying whatever he wanted. Maybe.

Back to the story… On the way down to the basement, he told me about passing out at work, something about a fever, going to the school nurse, being sent home. Something about medicine and trying to make an appointment for the doctor. I just told him that I didn’t know if/how we would be able to help him get to the doctor & that he should talk to Jim about it. He said he’d try to find a bus, I think. Then, went downstairs & went to sleep on the couch.

I kept the kids out of the basement, but otherwise didn’t do anything.

Uncle Bob came to bring David his wedding ring (which he had lost at a restaurant they had gone to the previous night). I told him David was sleeping, but that he’d probably want to see that & sent him down to bring it to him. When he came upstairs, he said that he was worried David had bronchitis & asked if I had a thermometer. I said that I probably did & asked if he seemed to have a fever. Uncle Bob said that he didn’t want to get too close, as he didn’t want to catch whatever it was that we all had, but thought that someone should check.

Sigh…

I guess that’s me, then.

I was trying to get the kids fed & dressed so we could get to soccer practice on time. After that, I had to get lunches ready, pajamas set, clothes set out for tomorrow, feed the pocket pets and, then, we had to go pick up a moon jump & deliver everything back to Addison, all in time for Jim to get back for work (and try to get the kids to bed before 10p)… It was a busy day, already, is what I’m saying…

But, I sorted through all of the thermometers until I found one with working batteries (I should really do that some time when people *aren’t* sick, one day) & brought it down to him. I woke him & took his temp (103). Asked him if he was taking any medicine. He said that he couldn’t because medicine makes him sick. Said that someone told him to take tylenol, though, for the fever. I asked him if he had some. He said he did. I told him that I thought he should take it, too.

Then, I had to run out the door.

Checked him again when I got home from soccer. Again, when we got home from running around. Again, in the morning. Forehead didn’t seem hot enough for taking temp again. Kept bringing him water & telling him to stay hydrated, but it doesn’t look like he drank any of it. He’s got a gatorade by him, maybe he’s drinking that. (One time, earlier in the week, when he said he was going to Walgreens to get some juice, I told him that we had juice he could drink & he said that he needed to get some kind of special juice that helps his cough - I’m not sure what it was - maybe it’s the gatorade :shrug: ).

Then, this morning, at 7:30am, his wife called on the house phone. 7:30am! Jim had just laid down 30 minutes earlier. At that time of day, we all try to be as quiet as possible, so that Annie will stay asleep, so that Jim can get some sleep. 7:30am phone call! I’m not sure if it woke Annie, because we left 10 minutes later to get to school. But, she sounded all frantic, about to cry “Is David OK??? He’s not answering his cellphone”. I told her that I’d been checking him & that his fever seemed to be down. She asked if he had called in to work. I told her that I didn’t know. She started telling *me* that he had to do it. I’m sure I’m just easily annoyed right now, but it sounded like she was telling me what to do to take care of her husband, to baby him. “He has to do that…”. I told her “hold on” & brought the phone down to David, woke him & told her to talk to him about that.

Deep breath. This too shall pass.

But, I don’t even want to feel that way about it. I don’t want to feel that way about another human being who needs my help. I’m not sure what it is, but I think it’s tied to the lying (or, ‘talking out of his ass’, as we sometimes call it around here). It’s like he’ll say whatever he thinks sounds good. Most of the time it’s not that he’s trying to decieve anyone, it’s just that he doesn’t know what he’s talking about. I know it’s a learned habit. But, it really makes it hard to bother trying to understand what he’s saying. Which isn’t fair to him, I know.

For examples…

He told Uncle Bob that all we have at our house is soy milk, so he has to buy his own milk. Now, I’m sure he just misunderstood (because we *do* have soy milk & use it for baking or making anything that Shelby is sharing with us), but we also have regular milk. Maybe he didn’t understand & either never learned how to keep asking questions until he does understand - maybe he is afraid/embarrassed to ask further questions - maybe he just grabs hold of any ‘truth’ & doesn’t think that he needs to try to understand further. And, it’s a stupid thing to be annoyed about, I know.

He said he’d just be staying at our house for ‘a few days, until Uncle Bob could get a room ready for him’. Uncle Bob doesn’t seem to be making any effort to get a room ready for him at all. In fact, when David *does* go over to Uncle Bob’s to help him with his house (he’s done it once now), they work out the exterior of the house (gutters, with plans to paint).

When he got the job at the high school, whenever he’d talk to someone about it, he’d always tell them a different pay rate and different schedule. Not that it mattered to anyone. But, why lie about it? And, if you don’t know - why not say that you don’t know?

Last Sunday, he told Uncle Bob that the nearest Catholic church was ‘too far to walk to’. It’s exactly one block from our house.

And, then there’s the whole matter of when/if/how he’s going to get his car here from Maryland. And when/if/how his wife is going to come out here, too. The story changes every time he opens his mouth.

It just makes it hard to listen compassionately, empathetically, when you are basing your compassion and empathy on a house of straw. I don’t have time for that. So, maybe, I need to stop trying to give him any help based on what he says will be and, instead, focus it on the here and now. What can I do for him now, without thinking about what I’ve done in the past or where it will lead in the future.

But, that still leaves him just drifting, not learning how to take care of himself, not learning how to make good decisions, not learning how to understand and be understood.

Or, maybe I should start really listening and really questioning him. Really teaching him, like I would a child, or a visitor from a foreign country, maybe. It’s hard to treat an adult as a child, but I think I might be able to treat him like a visitor who is unfamiliar with our customs & needs to learn. Maybe.

And, I’m feeling awful about not wanting to help him through his illness. I was ranting a bit to a co-worker this morning, saying “I can’t believe that I have to take a grown man’s temperature for him, or that I have to tell him that he should take tylenol if he has a fever that needs to be managed”. She said, “Well, my kids take my temperature for me sometimes” And, she has a point, I guess. I might take Jim’s temp if he was completely laid out. But, I think that, as he was getting to that point, he would ask me to take over some of his responsibilities and that I would *want to* take care of him. Not that I don’t want to take care of David, it’s just that he’s not even trying to take care of himself. And, well, if I was a visitor at someone’s house, I don’t think I’d just expect them to take care of me. I think I’d be acting a bit more independent and *responsible* for my own well-being.

Sigh —- off to work. And, off to google ‘compassion, humanity, UU, buddhism’ or something like that.

When Jim’s bored, stuck in traffic, he divides the numbers on the license plate in front of him into each other, to see if one of the numbers is a multiple of the other.

I didn’t really think that I had a ‘thing’ like that, but, lately, I realize that I do - it’s just that I don’t really notice it as I’m doing it. I will read the words on signs backward, to see if they make a new word (or, at least, a pronounceable word). Weird that I never really noticed myself doing this until recently, but I know I’ve been doing it forever.

From Robin

1. Sleep - dream
2. Tomorrow - the sun’ll come out
3. Mortgage - manageable
4. Pencil - thin mustache
5. Music - beauty

I doubt that anyone will tag off of me - I don’t know that any other bloggers besides Robin ever look here :p

Just in case…

1. Muffin
2. Telephone
3. Peace
4. Function
5. Cardboard Box

Pretty much what I expected…

I’m sorry to hear you received unsatisfactory service from us.

However, we do have Customer Privacy Statement, sent out to the customer
every year for each of the accounts. We also do have a fee scheduled to
handle bad deposits. Our customers’ privacy is indeed important to us
and our employees are trained in regards to customer privacy.

I do understand your frustration in this regard and I have forwarded
your comments to the appropriate department. I do appreciate you taking
your time off to report this issue to us.

I deeply regret the inconvenience you have been put under.

If there’s anything else, you may call us toll-free at 800.788.7000,
send us an email by visiting wamu.com, or visit a Washington Mutual
financial center. To find the financial center nearest you, please go to
wamu.com and select “Find a Location.”

To call us while outside of the United States, call us at 800.540.9268.1
using your country’s calling code. The additional “1″ is necessary when
dialing the international telephone number. You may also contact an
operator and ask to make a collect call to us at 210.489.7902.

If you call, you may be asked for your confirmation number, which is
K8770868444.

Sincerely,

Your WaMu Banker

Whatever… I’m sure nothing more will come from this. Guess I’ll just start paying attention to other banks’ offers when I see them.