Saturdays contrasts
Saturday morning, on the soccer field… I’m the ‘field director’ for the U5-U6 fields on Saturday morning. I wish that I didn’t have to spend my entire morning (and into the afternoon) on the soccer fields, but no one else is stepping up to do it & they said that if no one does it, then the 4, 5 & 6 year olds simply won’t play, so… :shrug: Allison came with. I paid her to hang out on the playground with Annie & Shelby until their games. Jim worked Friday night & had some moon jumps to deliver in the early afternoon, so he missed the games.
Anyway, the first game of the day was a U6 game (5 & 6 year olds). I was a couple fields away, setting up the goals, when I heard some real harsh parent voices, shouting *at* their children (and the other children on their child’s team). It’s going to be hard to convey the tone of voice on-line, but I’ll try. It was demeaning sounding, not encouraging. It was demanding & negative. It was offensive. It was “Get that ball away from them, Jason!”. It was “Charge, Charge, Charge!”. It was yelling. It was not positive in any way at all. The words and tone of voice could only make a kid (and an adult, for that matter) think that they were disappointing someone if they did not succeed.
I went over to stand by the game, in my yellow ‘Hey, I represent AYSO’ shirt. I started shouting out the positive things that you are supposed to be shouting out to 5 & 6 year olds when they are learning to play soccer. “Way to control that ball!” “Good try!” “So close, you almost had it!” “Great teamwork!” “You can do it!” They noticed me. They stopped yelling at the kids. They started trying to sound more positive. I heard one of the mom’s say something to another like “They’re going to kick me off the field, for being a bad mom” (or something like that).
I went back to setting up the goal. In a minute or two, they started up again. I ended up having to spend much of that hour simply standing by that particular game, policing the parents.
The parents on the opposing team, by the way, were as positive as can be.
And, wouldn’t you know it… The opposing team was scoring more goals. The kids were having a good time playing. They were working together. They were showing respect to their coach and their teammates.
I’m not sure if the more competitive parents even noticed the major difference between the two teams. I’m afraid that they will keep on thinking that the major reason for their child’s inability to score goals & work as part of a team lies with their child, instead of with the way that they are communicating with (and teaching) their child.
