I love the passing of time

Robin’s blog and the one linked to it (and other childfree ones that were linked from there) got me thinking about this, yesterday & today.

I want to make sure, before I start typing, that anyone reading this knows that I am not being sarcastic. I truly mean all of this. I know it’s hard to ‘hear’ the tone of voice when reading things on-line, so I just wanted to make this clear.

From the posts & blogs that I’ve read regarding the childfree decision, it sounds like so many of you have ample reason to be defensive about this issue. I want you to know that I fully support your decision, despite (or, maybe, because of) the fact that I think that parenting is one of the most exciting, challenging, important things that I will ever do in my life.

What I *don’t* understand is how people who say that they love kids could ever try to encourage someone to become a parent when they have stated that they don’t want to be one. Why would anyone who loves kids ever wish for a kid to have a disinterested (at best) parent?

So, if you are self-assured enough to know that you don’t want to have children, then confident enough to buck societal expectations and actually be childfree, I say, “More power to you!”. Thank you for not bringing more kids into this world! There are plenty of them here, now. So many of them living in poverty, being neglected or abused.

Go! Have fun in your life! Do what *you* want to do with it. I know that you will make your own mark on the world and hope that you will strive to be the best world citizen that you can be. You should be really proud of yourself that you have the courage to live your life as you see fit. That’s exactly what I want my kids to do with their lives. I hope that I can teach them what they need to know to do that.

Now, with all of that said, I do hope that I have never offended anyone by asking them about their parental status. It’s truly just ‘conversational’ on my part. I’m guessing that it is for many people, but, if childfree people are being hassled by a ‘concerned minority’ who is trying to change their minds, I can understand why they would think that any ‘So, do you have any kids?’ comment might be a precursor to some manipulating and prying.

I have this friend who married a guy from Ireland. They were living here in the states & she told me once that he thought that Americans were so materialistic, because one of the first things that almost everyone asked in a conversation was, “So, what do you do for a living?”. He thought that this meant that they cared what he did & that they would base their opinion of him on how much money he made. I tried to explain that it’s just that most people spend a good 8-10 hours of their day at ‘work’, so, it seems like a good conversation starter, a good way to get to know the person & let them talk about themselves. It’s just an easy starting place to find common ground for conversation and for relationship.

Oh, and, I hope I haven’t bored anyone when I talk about parenting if they are not parents. It’s really no different than any other topic of conversation. So, if I’m boring you talking about parenting, let me know. And, if I’m boring you talking about knitting, gardening, housework, gas prices, politics, cartoons, the 80’s, 4gl programming, etc…. let me know about that, too. I talk about parenting because, well, that’s what I do with most of my days, lately. What do you want to talk about? Something that’s important to you? Sure, sounds interesting! Tell me all about it!

If you don’t want me to bring my kids with to a party, restaurant, movie, event, etc - you’re going to have to let me know. I’ll be sure to let you know if I don’t want you to bring your SO, mother or dog, too. Or, maybe I won’t. Maybe I’ll just politely try to enjoy their company. My kids are pretty well-behaved and I take full responsibility for their behavior when they aren’t. I usually try to make sure that I’m not bringing them to situations that they are not ready for (or where I will not be able to monitor/teach them). I hope that I notice if they are bothering you in some way, get them to stop, then teach them about more appropriate behavior. That’s one of my jobs as their parent - to teach them about appropriate social behavior. Sorry if you feel like you’re being used as an educational tool :hug:

And, while you’re here. Could you tell me if ‘breeder’ is meant to be an insult, because it sometimes feels like it is. Really, I think that most of us who have ‘bred’ don’t have anything against those of you who chose not to procreate -and- most of us are trying to do our best with the whole parenting thing. :bighug: It’s just what we chose to do with our lives.