The family soap opera
I have a huge family. I have 7 sisters, 2 brothers, and about 40 nieces, nephews, great-nieces and great-nephews.
Chris & Brooks are two nephews of mine. They are both in their 30’s, now. They are close in age & were friends throughout their lives. They even lived together in an apartment for a while in their 20’s.
Chris was living with Dawn (who had had major flirtations with another niece’s long-time boyfriend, along with a reputation of general skankiness). Dawn was not anyone’s favorite person, but we were all polite to her when she would come to family events. And, we all hoped that Chris would find someone better to spend his life with.
Brooks was married to Holly. Their marriage had it’s ups and downs and separations. They had a son together. They were split up, but still working together parenting. Not sure if they were living together at the time that this happened, or if Brooks was just stopping by to pick up/drop off their son. Anyway, apparently, he caught Holly and Chris in the bedroom together.
:-(
30 year friendship ruined.
Now, I think we could have all dealt with it just fine if they had been more responsible and upfront about their burgeoning relationship. And, I, personally, have huge issues with the fact that Holly and Chris are telling the son that Chris is his ‘new dad’ (or, so I’ve heard). But, if they would have waited until the Holly/Brooks relationship was known to be *over*. And, then, if Chris had gone to his *friend*, Brooks, and said “We’ve all always liked Holly (because we did, for the most part) and, over the years, I think that I’ve fallen in love with her. Would you be OK with me dating her?” I *know* that Brooks would have said, “Sure”. And, we would have all been able to laugh about it all at family gatherings. It would have been a bit awkward, from time to time, but manageable.
Instead, the way it went down, was this… Brooks’ mom and Chris’ mom are not speaking to each other. Chris does not feel welcome at family events - hasn’t been to one ever since that happened. Chris’ mom doesn’t come too often, either. It’s uncomfortable all around & no one knows what to do to make it better. I don’t know if it can ever be better, unless Holly and Chris make a really good apology, admitting that they were not considerate of others at all in all of this, admitting that they were wrong, asking for forgiveness, etc. And, I don’t see either of them doing that. I suspect that they are somewhat enjoying being renegades, being outcasts, together.
Last week, I heard through the grapevine that they had married.
Today, Chris’ mom posted on our family message board that they are expecting a baby.
It’s all messed up. I hate it. We should be happy about a marriage in the family. We should be ecstatic about a new baby. Instead, I feel like it’s childish rebellion, but even worse, because they are playing with the lives of children. And, that is very, very, very wrong in my book.
