We spent almost all day on the soccer fields on Saturday.
9am - Annie’s team pic (everyone on her team was late, we could have got there at 10…)
10am-12:30p - I had to be on the U5/U6 fields as field director (Allison kept Annie & Shelby at the playground for me)
10:30am - Annie’s game
12:50pm - Shelby’s pic
2pm - Shelby’s game
It was a long day, but, with Allison’s help, it was manageable. (Jim, on the other hand, had an even longer day - starting with working Friday night, through 3 jump setups & 1 take down by himself (1 home nap for an hour, 1 van nap for an hour during that time), adding me & the little ones into the mix for 2 more takedowns in the evening, ending with staying up late on Sat night to watch ‘V for Vendetta’ with Allison, because she’d been looking forward to sharing the movie with us all week & he didn’t want to let her down). During Shelby’s game, I said to Allison, “Years from now, I’m going to look back on this day & long to have it back to do again, to spend so much time with you all here on the soccer fields all day. Right now, though, I just want to go home 
” She smiled at that ((hug)) I like the way she can already appreciate that feeling, even at her age.
Anyway - it was a busy day all around. But, back to the stupid Asteroids, or, to be more specific, their parents…
As field director, it’s my (volunteer, unpaid, if *someone* didn’t do it, there would be no U5/U6 games) job to make sure that everyone’s playing on the right fields, to deal with mixups, short teams, missing coaches. I also make sure that the coaches are sticking to the really simple rules for U5/U6 short-sided games. And, I make sure that the spectators are all behaving in a positive manner that will help *all* of the children to have fun, learn skills, build self-esteem and learn good sportsmanship. This is the hardest part of the job. Not only because it’s difficult in general, but because I have a hard time confronting adults about their behavior.
This year, almost all of the teams, parents & coaches are completely on board with AYSO/Kid Zone philosophies. I have seen some amazing, inspiring coaching and parenting out there on the fields this year. It feels like almost every adult out there is 100% working towards the success of *all of the children on the field, including the children on the opposing team*. I see coaches working together, to coach both teams on the field. I see the entire sideline cheering every goal, every ball moved down the field. I see coaches pulling their strong players so that the other team and the other players on their team can get some good contact with the ball. And, I see kids working together as teams and having a great time.
Except for the Asteroids.
From what I’ve seen, it appears that the parents of the Asteroids signed their child up for soccer with the goal of their child being a winning player on a winning team. Or, perhaps more accurately, with the desire to be the parent of a winning player on a winning team.
Now, all of these kids are under 6 years old (or turn 6 during the season). That’s what ‘U6′ stands for. There is to be no score-keeping during these games, but I know it’s hard for the kids not to keep track of their successes. My own kids can tell me how many goals they made themselves. Shelby can tell me how many goals the whole team made and how many the opposing team made. Or, at least an approximation. When he does, I always remind him that everyone out there is still learning skills and that they all don’t have the same level of experience.
The AYSO goals for U5 & U6 kids is that they learn how to move the ball down the field, that they learn how to pass & work as a team, that they learn the fundamentals of the game (what happens when a ball goes out, for example), and that they learn how to shoot for their goal. There are no goalkeepers allowed on this level. Defense is not a priority at this level. They do work on one-on-one defense a bit, but only to teach the kids the skill of getting control of the ball and the basics of defending their goal.
AYSO participates in the Kids Zone program (sorry, the link is a pdf - I hate those). Additionally, parents are told to let the coach do the coaching and the parents do the cheering (another PDF - sorry…).
But, still, on Saturday, the parents of the Asteroids were *yelling* instructions at their kids. And, they weren’t positive. They were “GET THAT BALL AWAY FROM HER, GRACIE!” and “BLOCK THAT GOAL!” kind of things. And, yes, imagine a crazed, angry fan, screaming at a referee about a bad call kind of voice, contorted face and all - that’s what they sounded and looked like. There were so many people yelling at those kids that I had no idea who was the coach and who was the parent.
The comic relief for me is seeing the confused parents and coaches on the opposing teams as they watch this and help their kids to deal with it. This week, the coach was doing a lot of going right up to her kids, hugging them and whispering instructions & encouragement to them. The parents were doing a lot of positive talk from the sides - for *both teams*.
The tragic part is seeing the Asteroids kids dealing with it all - angry, scared faces - confusion - pushing. You can almost see them thinking “I can’t screw up again or mom/dad will think I’m a failure.”
The Asteroid parents appear to be having the time of their lives, though; when they are not yelling at the kids, they are laughing to each other.
I stood and watched it as much as I could last Saturday. My own daughter was playing 2 fields away & I wanted to be there for her & the teams on that field, too. But, Allison & Shelby were there, so I got away pretty often to stand by the Asteroids game. Now, last week, my presence seemed to tone down the negative behavior by those parents. This week, though, they seemed not to notice me there. Or, maybe they did & decided that it just didn’t matter to them that I was there. I’m not a very imposing presence
Right before the end of the game, though, something happened that totally blew me away. One of the players on the opposing team shot a goal and missed. They didn’t miss because an Asteroid player made a good play & defended the goal. The goal was wide open and undefended. The child missed because he was a 5 year old kid & just didn’t shoot straight.
When this happened, the Asteroid parents actually cheered.
They cheered because a child missed a goal. They cheered a child’s failure. They stood there not 10 feet from a child who made a mistake and proudly shouted “Yay!”.
I stood there in amazement, blinking my eyes, shaking my head. I made eye contact with the woman who I think might be the coach & just mouthed, ‘Wow’. She laughed.
Fuck her.
By the time I walked around to the other side of the field where all of the parents were, they called time. Game was over & I still hadn’t figured out how I was going to address it anyway. I’m still not sure. I know that I have to do something, though.
